- Satan: [appears]
- Satan: You can have anything you wan--
- Me: LANGUAGE.
- Satan: What?
- Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
- Satan: What the--?
- Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
- Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
- Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.
*grabs my own ass* nice
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
These are a few of my favourite things: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
…Good becomes great; bad becomes worse. This is why you were chosen. Because the strong man who has known power all his life, may lose respect for that power, but a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows…compassion.
Tumblr Loves Halloween
based off this text post because its adorable
look at how cute this is
False rape accusations are an anomaly.
True rape accusations are a norm.
You’re, quite literally, more likely to be killed by a comet than falsely accused of rape.
Re-blog now, read later.
"Because 1 in 33 men will be raped in his lifetime, men are 82,000x more likely to be raped than falsely accused of rape. It seems many of us would do well to pay more attention to how rape culture affects us all than be paranoid about false accusers.”
I wish i could make you into a coat, but a living coat not a dead coat
I can live for this
Memorable Tumblr Puns
i always end up thinking about the economic damage in superhero movies
make a movie.
the movie would be set entirely in the office of one over-worked insurance agent answering phone calls and in the window behind him we see various Super Heroes destroying things
Cast Amy Poehler
I bought a pair of high waisted shorts
the black widow is learning to adapt to popular fashion trends
do not start with me, tumblr user almyro
And here we have the Black Widow adapting to her environment displaying signs of aggression
"Yes, hello, Clint? It’s me. You told me to call you when I feel like murdering someone. Yes. Of course I’m trying my hardest to blend.”
Is it bad to say that I love these posts.
a $15 gift card to Louis Vuitton
*buys a piece of dust floating in the air*
realest shit ever.